Saturday, October 13, 2007

Issue 19 - Coal to Diamonds

Going Up

Em's big sis Viv has a new website! A former contributor to Manoush in France, she's now stirring shit up for London Fashion Week. P.S. She'd be going up even if we weren't related.

Dressing like twins

You and your friends all shop at the same stores anyway, and with H&M only squeezing out a few decent items each season you might was well stop fighting over who gets to wear the jodhpurs. Bonus, twin-dressing makes it easier to find each other after the mosh pit.

The Craft Economy
The Craft Economy got a lot of buzz in Toronto by stapling their self-released EP and gig poster to telephone poles in Kensington Market. They're so good that the gig sold out and people started stapling the EP to their ears. Listen to them here.

Granny carts

The new way to bring your records to the club...if you're still spinning vinyl you're probably the granny of DJs anyway, so just push it.

The shrunken leather jacket

The vintage hunting stops now. This season, every single high street store has one that even we can afford. This one is from Topshop.

Going Down

Em's flatmate hasn't used a mobile or landline in three weeks. Vogue editor Anna Wintour hasn't used a purse in decades. And Pete Doherty hasn't used shampoo...ever. Modern day necessities are merely scams devised by marketing tricksters - don't be fooled!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Issue 18 - Lovers Who Uncover

Going Up

R. Kelly
Trapped in the Closet, chapters 13 to 22 airs on the IFC September 7. That's right, the mofo Independent Film Channel! Watch the recap of chapters 1-12 here:

Having a uniform

Let your uniform be your trademark. Karl has his ponytail and fan, Gauthier has his sailor stripes, and Suzy Menkes has her whole Samurai get up. There is no shame in wearing the same thing every day - it's kind of a refreshing Fuck You to ever-evolving high street trends.

The everyday costume

Even better if your uniform is a costume (fancy dress for you Brits). If you really want show those hipsters who's edgy and unique, nothing short of a full blown Superman cape is going to faze them.

Straight blunt cuts

Check out Jessica Stam's sharp hair. Layers are for wussies - just look at Jennifer Aniston /Rachel Green.

Peasant head wear


Dead easy - tie a sweater around your head and voila, instant Vera Wang runway!

Going Down

Kanye West


Thanks for shitting all over Peter, Bjorn and John. As Troy Dyer would say "Your bravado is embarrassing".

"Ethnic" scarf


The September '07 issue of Teen Vogue features a must-have fall checklist which includes an "ethnic" scarf (read the checklist here). The only thing ethnic about a $100 hounds tooth Hugo Boss scarf is that it was probably made in Bangladesh.

Nu Rave


As with old rave, nothing involving glowsticks and neon clothing lasts forever.

Ironic dressing


The only difference between old and Nu Rave.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Issue 17a - appendix

Finally figured out how to embed youtube bits.
So check out the Crystal Castles song we talked about last week.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Issue 17 - Hammer Time

Going Up

Jodhpurs for F/W 2007

Balenciaga F/W 07,

Michelle: "I think they are HOT. I want the Balenciaga ones."

Karen: "I will most likely find a way to shove my ass into a pair this Fall."

Glenis: "I saw some wicked Hammer pants in black on a waitress at Zipang on Friday. Not ridiculous but so so perfect."

Karen: "Morgan is eavesdropping on this email and said he saw a one of the girls at TNT today wearing a pair of black tulip pants and that they looked hot."

Missy: "We are selling a pair of tulip pants from Rittenhouse and they look hot on."

Pencil skirts

Topshop pencil skirt

The flattering shape balances out Fall's tricky jodhpurs. Perfect!

Lauren Cohan
Em's ex-flatmate just scored a major, recurring part on cult TV show Supernatural! We are so happy, especially because she'll be filming in Vancouver. One to watch, you heard it here first.

Crystal Castles' Crimewave
New 7" single - dare we say even better than Magic Spells???

Yeah Yeah Yeahs' Is Is EP
Down Boy is the latest single, and we're panting.

Canned beer

Two words: Park parties.

Going Down

Ballet flats

Even Payless Shoes are desperately trying to get rid of the AE ones with ridic BOGO sales.

"I'm pretty awesome"
Someone Em talked to recently actually said this. WTF.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Issue 16 - MAJOR

Going Up

The Skullset

Cory Kennedy what? This is the photoblog to watch.

Alternatives to "Fabulous"


Candy apple red
The new neon. Try it on your fingernails first.


Major shout-out to bar staffer Louie who returned our camera to us the day after we stupidly left it on the table. We are forever indebted.

Going Down

Drink a dozen beers, rip your tights, pass out in a parking garage, lose your $500 camera, puke in the train, crawl home at 6 am.

Sex and the City: The Movie
A.K.A "The First Wives Club: The Sequel"

These identikit posters say it all.

Who wants to look for Pom juice on a Saturday night when there's a cooler of beer in the backyard?

Summer sales

Save your cash -- 2 months from now you're going to want sweaters, jodhpurs, and boots.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Issue 15 - Good job for you I wasn't born a killer

Going Up

Beautiful Noise - a film
YES! YES! YES! Finally, a documentary on shoegaze bands. Read all about it here. All we need is a My Bloody Valentine reunion now...

Ride shoegazing away.

Black + Brown
Fall/Winter '07 prep starts now. Missy's thinking black tights and brown shoes.

Mobile phone contract expiration
Em's freedom starts August 27th baby!
P.S. Don't get a Samsung phone - they suck and break.
The antithesis of, our new favourite website is all about independent labels.

From Refinery29's latest feature story. Note the tucked-in t-shirt and Wintour hair.

U18 bands
Maybe it's all the hormones in meat these days, but surprisingly decent child musicians are popping up everywhere. Baby geniuses have sure come a long way since Hanson. Recommended U18 bands: frYars (specifically the song "The Ides"), Cajun Dance Party, and Bombay Bicycle Club

frYars, presumably trying to sneak out past curfew.

Going Down

U18 gigs
Fuck, we're getting old.

Queasy Listening
The inexplicably popular-yet-naff music by the likes of Maroon 5, Snow Patrol, and Keane.

Linkin Park clothing line

Dear Fashion Genie, please please please grant us our wish of NO MORE celebrity/fashion collaborations for at least a year. In return, we vow never to make fun of girls who wear Mavi jeans again.

Feather dresses

Big Bird much?

source: Go Fug Yourself

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Issue 14 - Got no time for the jibba jabba!

Going Up

"I'm not cool either"

Quote of the day courtesy of BFF Pari.

Sperry Top-Siders

The New York Times ape-shitted over these shoes recently and we're inclined to agree. Get the look of a preppy Hampton brat for less than what Valentino pays for his yacht's toilet paper.

The Mr. T Jibba Jabba Archive

"I ain't afraid of flying, and I ain't afraid of no monkeys either!" and other classic Mr. T sound clips just begging to be sampled from this website. Props to Michelle for the tip off.

Being late

Yeah, we started this blog in motherfucking 2007. And we didn't join Facebook until THREE months ago. And we just figured out how to use Photobucket. We've been busy socializing with real live humans and questioning bandwagons.

Google decision-making

Normally, I couldn't give a toss about The White Stripes, but I have new found respect for a band that makes decisions based on the results of a search engine. Recently, the White Stripes Googled "Toronto fun" and ended up played a surprise gig at the first place listed: a YMCA day camp for children.

Going Down

Consumer vertigo

Speaking of decision-making, choice is overrated. "Consumer vertigo" pertains to being overwhelmed by choice and subsequently upping one's stress factor when shopping (hello Topshop?) After reading an article in the UK Times, we're now working on being "satisficers". (Next week: how not to be influenced by everything we read.)

Damien Hirst's diamond skull

After a month-long exhibition, artist Damien Hirst's latest piece, For the Love of God (a human skull covered with 8,500 diamonds), still doesn't have any buyers. Could it be because it costs $100 MILLION?!? For fuck's sake just donate it back to the the slaves who mined that shit for you and go shove a Blood Diamond DVD up your arse.

Egg piracy

BFF Michelle sourced this one for us. Apparently the shady business venture du jour in China is concocting fake eggs made entirely from chemicals and selling them to unsuspecting real egg consumers. Click image to enlarge the full 10 step process on how to get in on the action.

What the fuck.

Flaky "friends"

"Let's hang out soon" = "I'm a fucking flake who's going to waste your time by pretending that I want to see you, but my sole purpose in life is to up my Facebook wall-post count and watch Gilmour Girls." Bitch.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Issue 13 Yippee-Ki-Yay Muthafucka

As some of you may know, Die Hard is one of my all-time favourite movies. From grade 5 to high school graduation, anytime I got sick and stayed at home, I would pop in my well-worn Die Hard cassette, huddle under a duvet with a glass of purple Kool-Aid, and be comforted by the soothing ratatat of AK-47s. The fourth Die Hard movie is out this week, but it looks real crap so let's have a barometer with the original 1988 line-up. - Em

John McClane
aka Going Up

This photo Missy took

Miss Lasko-Gross: Escape From "Special"

I haven't told Missy about this yet:

Mr. Furious and I were at a bookstore and saw this semi-autobiographical graphic novel about a troubled girl who’s always being told that she thinks too much. For those of you who know Missy, how uncanny is that? And don’t even get us started on the author’s name…

The Future Magazine
Ever since I used to read my big brother's, um, Big Brother magazines (the now defunct Larry Flint-published skate book, not some stupid mag about the reality TV show), I've had this mini-crush on Dave Carnie and his golden ratio of funny/repulsive/arse-y. So you can imagine how pleased I was when my brother told me about The Future Magazine, of which Mr. Carnie is editor-in-chief. Current features include a visit to Morrisey's house (under the pretense of buying the property.)

Props to Jennilee for this one. The only e-cards that actually make us laugh. Bookmark worthy. Check their website.

Hats with veils/netting
1. Ascot
2. Weddings
3. Disguises puffy hangover eyes at both of the above

Hans Gruber
aka Going Down

That's our word of the day for guy's cleavage, as seen at Armani's latest fashion show this week. Ugh, nearly as bad as guyliner. Unless you are a renegade NYC cop who's trying to save your wife from 40 terrorists in an LA skyscraper, you are not allowed to show gleavage.

Photo: Times UK

Fopp shuts shop
The saviour of last-minute birthday gifting, Fopp, announced this week that it's shutting shop. The independent British retailer of "simply priced" CDs, DVDs, and books will be sorely missed. Where are we supposed to meet up with our friends now?

SWAG let downs
Some of our friends who shall remain nameless flew all the way across the country to attend a VIP party for the opening of a new high-end department store similar to Saks/Selfridges and all they got in return was a PEN. We're not kidding.

Wearing flip flops in the city
Your feet look like dirty pig hooves.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Issue 12 - Be Kind, Rewind

With Missy away, I can't be assed to think of up/down themes anymore, so this is just a straight going up v. going down one. - Em

Going Up

Bringing back your VHS collection

While you've been waiting for My So-Called Life to come out on DVD, our new BF Jennilee has been secretly buying up VHS treasures like Detroit Rock City and Singles at her local dollar store. They're cheaper than Starbucks and if Jennilee is ever faced with someone forcing a Grey's Anatomy DVD box set on her, she can be all "Sorry, I only watch VHS."


"I am my own muse" - Tom Ford
"I mow my own lawn" - Donny Osmond

Sweating is the badge of a good time. If you're not sweating, you're not having enough fun. Jump the mosh pit, get under stage lights or rub against someone who IS sweating. It's all about looking like a newborn baby on other people's flickr accounts.

Oh Girl Talk, you trendsetter! Photo: Tina O/Jennilee

Marc Jacobs' rubber sandals
See above re: sweating.

The soundtrack to :20 Workout
eBay purchase of the day goes out to BFF Francis who scored the :20 Workout on vinyl, bringing back fond memories of the original legwarmers and spandex. Loving the hi-cut unitards. Download the pilot for free.

Plastic Little
"We been broke so long we like it!!!"
Listen to some Philly rap

Naoto Fukasawa
Prolific designer who can actually put "inventor" down as his profession (e.g. the CD player he designed for Muji is in New York's Museum of Modern Art permanent collection.) A monograph bearing his name will be published by Phaidon Press next week. If you're like us and can't afford the book, check out his website.

Going Down

Predictable celebrity couples

As in CSS's Lovefoxxx + Klaxons' Simon Taylor-Davis

As in Pete Wentz + Ashlee Simpson


Yawn. Wake us up when the PR's wet dream is over.

Jennifer Aniston for Smart Water

Our NYC-based BFF, Pari, told us the following anecdote last year:

"I was on the subway and saw a poster for that Break-Up movie with Jennifer Aniston. And someone had taken a big black marker and scribbled "NYC Bitch" on her face. It was hilarious."

So Pari, please keep us updated on the status of this poster:

Oversized leather handbags

Same reason why you shouldn't wear leather jacket/trouser/gloves in the summer. Switch to canvas or straw until Labour Day or risk looking more tired than Rachel Zoe's face.

Gwen Stefani

Drag queen + Cyndi Lauper+ Karaoke

Saturday, June 9, 2007

Issue 11 - Perez Hilton v. Paris Hilton

Issue 11 is a showdown between Perez Hilton , who is blowing up as the gossip queen of the world (Details calls him the fifth most influential man in the States) and Paris Hilton, who recently refused to eat her prison hot dog meal and considers lack of moisturizer a medical condition. Supposedly Perez and Paris are good friends but who doesn't secretly want to see a catfight between them?

Perez Hilton
aka Going UP

Hermoine Herring aka Louise
Our new BFF Louise is one of those people who is so on top of their game, they don't even realize it. While everyone's rocking the skinny coloured denims, Louise rocks up in pleated plisse engineering trousers like it ain't no thang. When we were in London, she deftly smuggled use into the Lily Allen for New Look launch party, complete with unlimited mojitos and live performance! How perfect considering we would never pay money, let alone be sober to see Lily (who admittedly was rather charming.)

Lily in the flesh.

Helevetica is the original quilted Chanel handbag of typefaces that got fucked over when the cheap, mass-produced Old Navy of a typeface, Arial, came along. Which is why we are looking forward to seeing Helvetica, a new documentary.

The Nordic Bakery
Lush, lush, lush cinnamon buns. Thank you to Swedish friends Sarah and Yoyo for the recommendation. The bakery's website (!) describes it perfectly "...uncompromising simplicity, craft, and use of natural materials or ingredients." Bonus, the bakery itself is beautifully designed, nach.

Straw visors

Unlike most fashion accessories these days, straw visors are actually useful. They block pesky sun rays, minimize the glare on a shiny face, and if paired with giant sunglasses you might get mistaken for a celebrity or an old Chinese lady -- surely either is a sign you've achieved the height of fashion.

Girl Talk quits his day job
"This is my last week of work. I never told my co-workers about my music life. It's hard to believe that they didn't find out about it by now, especially with coverage in newspapers that are delivered to their houses... "
read more from Girl Talk's blog about quitting his day job
listen to his music

Clip-on earrings

The natural successor to the now dead chandelier earrings. It's all about chunky, graphic, bejewelled shapes that would be otherwise too heavy for pierced earrings. Besides, clip-ons keep the lobes from stretching out - eeew.

Paris Hilton
aka Going Down

The maxi dress

We are baffled as to why this has been proclaimed the "it dress" of summer. Have you actually tried a maxi dress on? It makes fat people look pregnant, short people look like urchin midgets, and that much fabric on a tall person is just cruel. We'd rather wear a burlap sack. At least it won't get caught in the train door.

Lense-less eyewear

What are you, on the guestlist to BoomBox?

House of Holland

It was not too long ago when we praised Henry Holland for his fluorescent slogan t-shirts in issue two. A lot has happened since then -- wait -- actually not much has happened at all, we are just incredibly bored with him.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Issue 10 - Pootie Tang Issue

Sa Da Tay
AKA Going Up

Rose McGowan
To everyone who's giving Grindhouse a rough time we say: fuck off. Rose McGowan's go-go dance during the first five minutes justifies the remaining 3.5 hours. We're not even gay and we got a boner


Having a potty mouth
Now that smoking bans are on the rise, how else can one prove their coolness? We strongly condone swearing. The words 'fuck' and 'shit' up the ante in any otherwise mundane sentence. Take the yeahs and whats of the world and transform them into "fuck yeah" and "what the fuck". Way fucking better.

Banana pumps
Sick of spending summers in Haviana flip-flops or ballet flats? This year a new contender with a catchy name is up to bat: the banana pump. Like an elasticized ballet flat, these babies are flexible enough to compact into a purse. Comes in handy when your platform sandals cripple your feet.

These ones are from Topshop.

Streetstyle blogs
Specifically the Facehunter who has the most thorough documentation this side of Walker Evans. We are completely addicted to his blog. Bonus: it conveniently links up with all other noteworthy streetstyle sites around the world.
go to the Facehunter

Culte du Cargo
Missy and her friend Alfa worked together at a company that will remain nameless. The goal was to sell shitty made-in-China clothes to suburban teenagers for the lowest price possible. Thankfully Alfa doesn't work there anymore and neither do she. Alfa is now free to pursue his musical endeavors like his band, Culte du Cargo.
Check them out

How Sassy Changed My Life: A Love Letter to the Greatest Teen Magazine of All Time
Here at YNBF, we agree that Sassy just might've be the raddest teen magazine ever. Its witty and irreverent tone was that of an all-knowing older sister. While Seventeen magazine had airhead cover models dolled up in stupid Revlon makeup, teased hair and bushy eyebrows, Sassy inspired you to pluck your eyebrows in a straight line, steal your dad's flannel shirt, wear it with some Dr. Martins and top it off with a DIY haircut. Reading it made you feel like you were in on the secret, part of the clique. Finally, Sassy gets the recognition it deserves in book format.

Being allowed to drive
Em finally got her driver's license this week. Thanks to the Canadian graduated licensing program, it took her three tests and five years to achieve something most middle Americans can do in 90 days.

Wa Da Tah
AKA Going Down

"Rave music"
Wow, when we raved back in the early 90's, no one and we mean no one called the music that got played "rave music". Raves weren't even called "raves", they were parties, and the music was either d n' b or trance or house or whatevs, but it certainly wasn't RAVE music. Recently, L.A.'s most reputable indie station, 103.1, busted out what the DJ termed a "rave set". Easy now,

Self-imposed deadlines
Ever wonder why YNBF doesn't have a regular publish date? We welcome you to peak in on a typical e-mail exchange between us:

Em: Um, I haven't done my half of the blog yet, I got distracted in Value Village.

Missy: I'm not done either, my granny came over for dinner and we played cards.

E: Can I e-mail it to you tomorrow? I'm going to the gym, but maybe I can do it when I get back.

M: Okay, but I'm going to have dinner at Michelle's so I won't be able to look at it until the day after.

[Three days later…]

M: AHHH. I'm finally done posting the blog. It's 4am. That only took me 5 hrs. I think I could have shaved off about 2 hrs if I had a proper computer with the correct programs ie: Photoshop. This is fucking ridiculous. I am going to buy a new computer this week. I cannot go on living like this anymore. I'm so frustrated. Okay, anyway, the site looks alright I think.

Right-wing Americans
Not that they were ever going up, but after spending a couple of weeks in California, Missy gained some insight into right-wing American sentiment, mainly through bumper stickers. They support the war in Iraq and they are afraid of gay marriage.

So friendly and inclusive, right?

Directly responsible for sucking up all our time and energy. See above re: self-imposed deadlines.