Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Issue 10 - Pootie Tang Issue

Sa Da Tay
AKA Going Up

Rose McGowan
To everyone who's giving Grindhouse a rough time we say: fuck off. Rose McGowan's go-go dance during the first five minutes justifies the remaining 3.5 hours. We're not even gay and we got a boner


Having a potty mouth
Now that smoking bans are on the rise, how else can one prove their coolness? We strongly condone swearing. The words 'fuck' and 'shit' up the ante in any otherwise mundane sentence. Take the yeahs and whats of the world and transform them into "fuck yeah" and "what the fuck". Way fucking better.

Banana pumps
Sick of spending summers in Haviana flip-flops or ballet flats? This year a new contender with a catchy name is up to bat: the banana pump. Like an elasticized ballet flat, these babies are flexible enough to compact into a purse. Comes in handy when your platform sandals cripple your feet.

These ones are from Topshop.

Streetstyle blogs
Specifically the Facehunter who has the most thorough documentation this side of Walker Evans. We are completely addicted to his blog. Bonus: it conveniently links up with all other noteworthy streetstyle sites around the world.
go to the Facehunter

Culte du Cargo
Missy and her friend Alfa worked together at a company that will remain nameless. The goal was to sell shitty made-in-China clothes to suburban teenagers for the lowest price possible. Thankfully Alfa doesn't work there anymore and neither do she. Alfa is now free to pursue his musical endeavors like his band, Culte du Cargo.
Check them out

How Sassy Changed My Life: A Love Letter to the Greatest Teen Magazine of All Time
Here at YNBF, we agree that Sassy just might've be the raddest teen magazine ever. Its witty and irreverent tone was that of an all-knowing older sister. While Seventeen magazine had airhead cover models dolled up in stupid Revlon makeup, teased hair and bushy eyebrows, Sassy inspired you to pluck your eyebrows in a straight line, steal your dad's flannel shirt, wear it with some Dr. Martins and top it off with a DIY haircut. Reading it made you feel like you were in on the secret, part of the clique. Finally, Sassy gets the recognition it deserves in book format.

Being allowed to drive
Em finally got her driver's license this week. Thanks to the Canadian graduated licensing program, it took her three tests and five years to achieve something most middle Americans can do in 90 days.

Wa Da Tah
AKA Going Down

"Rave music"
Wow, when we raved back in the early 90's, no one and we mean no one called the music that got played "rave music". Raves weren't even called "raves", they were parties, and the music was either d n' b or trance or house or whatevs, but it certainly wasn't RAVE music. Recently, L.A.'s most reputable indie station, 103.1, busted out what the DJ termed a "rave set". Easy now,

Self-imposed deadlines
Ever wonder why YNBF doesn't have a regular publish date? We welcome you to peak in on a typical e-mail exchange between us:

Em: Um, I haven't done my half of the blog yet, I got distracted in Value Village.

Missy: I'm not done either, my granny came over for dinner and we played cards.

E: Can I e-mail it to you tomorrow? I'm going to the gym, but maybe I can do it when I get back.

M: Okay, but I'm going to have dinner at Michelle's so I won't be able to look at it until the day after.

[Three days later…]

M: AHHH. I'm finally done posting the blog. It's 4am. That only took me 5 hrs. I think I could have shaved off about 2 hrs if I had a proper computer with the correct programs ie: Photoshop. This is fucking ridiculous. I am going to buy a new computer this week. I cannot go on living like this anymore. I'm so frustrated. Okay, anyway, the site looks alright I think.

Right-wing Americans
Not that they were ever going up, but after spending a couple of weeks in California, Missy gained some insight into right-wing American sentiment, mainly through bumper stickers. They support the war in Iraq and they are afraid of gay marriage.

So friendly and inclusive, right?

Directly responsible for sucking up all our time and energy. See above re: self-imposed deadlines.


Thursday, April 5, 2007

Issue 9 - Pumped v. Girlie Men

This week's blog is dedicated to Arnold Schwarzenegger and Hanz and Franz. We're in the Golden State of California, cruising around LA in our H2 drinking organic vegetable juice smoothies and wearing matching Juicy tracksuits. We want to remind you that physical appearance is very important and to that end we've started taking steroids.
watch a Girlie Man clip

Reaching Full Pump-tential
AKA Going Up

CUPP (crumbling under peer pressure)
This nifty acronym comes to us from our BFF Michelle. Usage: "I totally cupped and joined Facebook. Now I can't get off it!"

Speaking of Facebook, we know it goes back a few years, but we just joined and are newly addicted. It's the heroin of virtual social networking. Much more intuitive to use than MySpace and no creepy spam. (FYI we've started a Facebook group called Your New Best Friend – all are welcome to join, even Fergie and Lily Allen).

Ciara "Like a Boy"
Totally digging the gender-bending styling in this video. It's very TLC circa 1996. Ciara had fierce ink drawn on her knuckles for the video and we're tempted to copy her.
peep the video

The London Times sensationalist headlines
"'Dump your children here' box to stop mothers killing their babies". It's the National Enquirer dressed up like a real newspaper.
read the article

Chloe Sevigny
This girl has been 'going up' for the past decade. She could wear a trash bag and still look hotter than the slew of boring Hollywood starlets littering the red carpet. We're referring to the Renee Zellwigers, Reese Witherspoons, and Emmy Rossums of the world. Having her hated on by every worst dress list only confirms that she doesn't pander to the masses. Chloe, we LOVE you!

Source: We borrowed this from Shh, don't tell…

Bon Vivant
A fabulous antique store with vintage decorative home accessories located in Palm Springs. Jonathan Adler recently flagged it as his favorite vintage store. When Missy was there, they had a charming white ceramic frog with a lattice back that was 2 feet tall and looked slightly sinister amid other gems.

Palm Springs Galleria
457 N. Palm Canyon Drive
Phone: 760.323.4576

Hip grannies
Who says you have to fall victim to ageist thinking? Common myths include that old people must sport roller set hairdos with a blue rinse, and wear pink polyester pants with matching sweater sets. We want her white glasses. She looks like she'd put up a fight though. Like Aaliyah said "age ain't nothing but a number".

Source: LA Times on line

Harlequin Romance novels
Fuck Chick Lit. We're actually proud to read this smut on the Tube. At least its not masquerading as relevant prose.

Get these for a buck at Value Village

Expensive lingerie
Not feeling 100% about your body? Drop $150+ on a bra and undies, we promise you'll feel instantly better. This is a category where fit is going to make a world of difference.

Girlie Men
AKA Going Down

Em reminded me that we already said her face looks like a hair scrunchie a few weeks ago, but she's irritating me again. About once a week I think about her and get really upset. I don't think there's anything particularly note worthily offensive that she's done lately other than be her Fergalicious self. YUCK! - Missy

Source:, Fergalicious dressed up as Rainbow Brite. So pretty!

Old Navy TV advert
Trying to market Old Navy merchandise is like trying to flog a kick in the balls. No one is going to buy that shit no matter how you dress it up.
watch the ad

Sucky second albums
Hey Bloc Party, Voxtrot, and Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, why didn't you take the cue from DFA 1979 and disband after your one-hit first album? Notice how everyone has hastily removed you from their MySpace/Facebook "music" section?

Luxury "IT" bags
Like having a baby: heavy to lug around, you can never put it down, more expensive than you anticipated, and all your friends are sick of hearing about it.

This Louis Vuitton bag can be yours for $40,000.
No, really.

Star Jones
No matter how much weight she loses or how much plastic surgery she has, she still looks like a bobble head figurine. Something is very wrong here.

Star Jones
Source: Perez Hilton, we're stealing the stolen,
I think Perez added the alien antennas

Not keeping your word
Stop being full of shit and do what you say you're gonna do. Sounds like a tough skill to master but keep trying, it's crucial to being an adult. Trust us on this one.

Ice Cube
This dude used to rap about AK-47s and race riots. Now he fights Rick Moranis for movie roles.
Ice Cube when he was cool