Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Issue 2 -Dimes v. 5 dressed as 8




DIMES

Jarvis Cocker
Thanks for staying fit. Morrisey, please take note.

Jeremy Scott for Longchamp
Every staid French brand needs to be resuscitated by young genius homo.

Cheap Mondays non-denim trousers
The same perfect cut without the colour fade.

Coral
No longer restricted to shriveled tanned country clubbers. Pair with favourite neutral tan.

Advil Sinus Daytime
Amphetamines for nu-ravers.

Kimora Lee Simmons
Queen of Fabulosity.

Bows
The bigger the better. Five-year-olds rule.

House of Holland
As worn by Gareth Pugh and Giles Deacon last fall; available to the public this spring.

Hye Park
K-town represent!

Tucking shirt in trousers/jeans
As always, Kate does it first.

Neutrogena Rapid Clear On-The-Spot Treatment
They say "visible results in 8 hours." We say "it's true."

Marc Jacob's Bakelite details for Fall '07
Duh.



5 DRESSED AS 8

Girls who insist on carrying two bags
Take your mini Coach purse and shove it up your Jansport backpack. You look like a donkey.


Sephora
Unhygenic.


Waiting in line
Overheard at the Clipse launch party: "Line-ups are for people who don't know people." Amen.

Full-coverage foundation make-up
As much as we don't want to see your face, it's not working.

Emmy Rossum, Anne Hathaway
Captains of the bland 'bots brigade.

Cell phone contracts
Fucking over everyone and their dog.

Erin Fetherston
The clothes: meh. The designer: smug spoiled princess.

Call-screeners
When's the last time you called someone and they actually picked up?

Tyrannical "all about me" high-maintenance friends
Don't be surprised if your call gets screened. Bitch.

Bloc Party's new lyrics
We already have an earnest, pseudo-political poster-boy, and his name is Chris Martin.




ALL TEXT COPYRIGHT MISSY AND EM, YOUR NEW BEST FRIEND 2007
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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