Thursday, February 22, 2007

Issue 3 - Big n' Bouncy v. Saggy n' Sunken

Big n' Bouncy

Britney Spears
Thanks for keeping us entertained.

J. Mascis
1. Guest singer on last Mew album.
2. Dinosaur Jr. has reformed.
3. Flanked by Juergen Teller and Kim Gordon at Marc Jacobs' fall '07 show.

Male Brezzies
Just like Jay-Z says: "Ladies is pimp too." It's all about collecting male hos in different area codes.

Rhinestones
Big fuckin' ones all over everything. NOW.

Mr. Furious
Plays first ever live gig this week.
Check this shit before it goes mainstream.
more Mr. Furious

American Apparel's stirrup tights
Just 'cos you dress like a ho, it don't make you so.

Black Jewelry
Because gold and princess-cut diamonds are for assholes.

Erin O'Connor's orange sleeves
We are weeping with joy.

Rich Boy – "Throw Some D's"
"Every freak should have a picture of my dick on dey wall"
more Rich Boy

Reading REAL books
Star, US, Hello! = huffing glue

SuperSuper line-up
Niyi! Foals! Namalee n the Namazonz!
more SuperSuper

Felder-Felder
These twins make the Olsens look as cool as Kirsty Alley.



Saggy n' Sunken

House music
The new Adult Contemporary.


Knock-off BAPE all-over print hoodies
About as dead as bootcut Mavi jeans now.


Dooney & Burke
30+ years in the business and still unable to produce an "it" bag.

Offspring shoe store (Covent Garden location)
Customer service akin to school bully terrorizing.

H&M mascara for men
Why? So Jared Leto and Fall Out Boy can fight over endorsement contracts?

Terror Alerts
No one cares.

Moleskin notebooks
Cost the same as a down payment on a house.

Mischa Barton for Keds
Keds have lowered your stock. What next, Payless Shoes with Star Jones?

VBS.tv
Duller than Rachel Ray's new talk show.

Blacklight
Our one beef with dive bars.

Cliques/Clicks
Terrific for inbreeding and backstabbing.




ALL TEXT COPYRIGHT MISSY AND EM, YOUR NEW BEST FRIEND 2007
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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